DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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