the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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