She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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