I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
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My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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