I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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