we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
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He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
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You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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