When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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