i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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