I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Quick, to the slutcave!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize