Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize