My liver just broke up with me...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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