OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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