Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize