I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I need to sanitize my soul.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize