I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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