omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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