So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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