question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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