Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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