i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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