I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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