I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Someone signed my nipple.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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