I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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