you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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