The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize