Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize