Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize