But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I didn't notice because vodka
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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