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whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Randomize
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