I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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