8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize