I heard we made out
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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