hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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