I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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