careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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