She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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