I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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