Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize