I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize