I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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