i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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