I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize