he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
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when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
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Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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