The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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