you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize