I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize