So drunk its hurt
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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