I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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