Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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