thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
dude. I can hear the air.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize